Memories of 4- childhood years in Johannesburg South Africa. Jealousy and a wedding.

for you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

Exodus 34:14
Then other verses that are interesting are:
Deuteronomy 4:24
2 Corinthians 11: 2

Jealousy is a strange animal boxed / trapped or left out in the wild where it is comfortable. The Johannesburg years were unpleasant years for my parents. Their marriage simmered while they were busy working but during down time / weekends it could boil. They found it hard to be together without having an argument, sometimes with us sitting in the back of the car or at home easily heard.

My sister and I found this tough as all children do. We became nervous and insecure (The only advantage of this was that Roy had had a similar experience with his parents and when this started happening to us we left the children with his parents and went away together for two weeks. We went to Turkey. This gave a foundation for renewal but let us say marriage takes plenty of time). My parents were frustrated with life. They didn’t take substantial time out from us to be alone with each other. We left our parents for university but they never ever left us with anyone.

Adding to the tensions in the home, as they were, my dad had a friend his age who had found the love of his life, a diminutive, shapely blonde. This couple seemed to want to spend time with us but they had no children for us to play with and then this is what happened.

My father was invited to be his best man. This was hard on mum.

Shelly was asked to be a flower girl. This was hard on me.

It was then that aunty Esther. The lovely aunt who loved to make her own beautiful creations stepped in and offered to make Shelly’s dress. This was accepted readily by the bride and then aunty Esther said. “I can make Sandy a confetti girl’s dress and decorate a basket.” I was thin with a square body and long legs. Awkward a bit clumsy and spilt and made a mess often called ” messy pup” by my family.

My jealousy was tamed I felt beautiful and enjoyed my role at the wedding but what about mum? Well she had some taming to do too. Mum went to a really expensive shop and bought a matching lace coat and a well fitted dress. It was just right for her. I could see the way she held herself with confidence. I could see she too was taming jealousy but not quite.

The bridesmaid dad was with wore a shiny, leaf green dress while Shelly looked like a fairy but in orange. The day passed! It did nothing for our parents’ relationship.

Jealousy is an animal that works well if harnessed rather than poked to fury. I wish people would be more respectful of it. Learning that type of respect is a work of a lifetime. I am sure I haven’t got it sorted yet.